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User blog:Fametown/ERB's Rhyme Scheme
Hey guys. I just made this blog to point out that ERB's rhyme scheme has really improved this season! I'm going to list some of ERB's best rhyming from Season 4 below. The best rhymers of Season 4 are Jack the Ripper, Harry Houdini, The Terminator, Socrates, Voltaire, Confucius, Shaka Zulu, and Jim Henson. Ghostbusters If you or the Lorax wanna bust like we do Give us a call, we're ready to defeat you Spitting out the lyrics like the Statue (of) Liberty Try to beat us in a battle? Man, you gotta (be) kidding me It's a rap test dummy, and you're both getting crashed We came, we saw, we kicked your ass Mythbusters Your science is preposterous - the opposite - of competent - '-petent process' And in this episode, we'll give you a synopsis You built a laser grid with no safety switch And Walter Peck was right, that's some shady shit Hey! Things are getting scary When Tory, Grant and Kari Stay Puft Marshmallow Man Yo raise up, it's Stay Puft, I stay fluff Blaze chumps and flip Kari butter-side up! I smother Ghost'busters' in fluffer-'nutter', I don't play Show these dweebs how to rock a beret Bonnie & Clyde I mean, I'll let you go first, but damn sure I'm getting licks in On this hissy-fitting - (fitting) rich kid and this prepu'bescent vixen' I'm sick of them, let's beat them then and we can rob them blind I'll stick this punk up from the front, I'll take this broad from (be)hind And pop a cap in the ass of the last Capulet heiress Give Miss No Nights in Paris a reason to cry to her parents Oh! Romeo - O Romeo, wherefore you trying to flow yo?'' '''Mofo, you soft as a froyo, are those the drapes or your clothes, bro? There's gonna be a tragedy Make you ache like your balls on the balcony Hey partner, you best put a muzzle on your missus 'Fore I teach her how we handle disrespect down in Texas How could you beat my man in some man(o) a mano? You can't protect your best friend from some John (Leg)uizamo Romeo & Juliet And you there, wench with the neck of a chicken''' ' You'll get an ass-'''ripping' worse than your boy'friends in' - prison You're not a true romance, you're just a conjugal visit Oh, but that's not even your husband, now is it? Do you quar'rel sir?' Ho, shall I draw my longsword? Or will you duck your chicken shit ass back into your Ford? Zeus How dare you challenge my im'mortal throne' I'm the father of the gods, put your daddy on the phone Only a mindless fool would knock the fathers of philosophy My Greeks built the bedrock of democracy With astronomy, they charted out the movements of my kin Thor Who would ever worship someone as a'busive' as Zeus is? You're ruthless to humans', your crew is like the Clash of the Douches Ruling over the Greeks, a people weak (and) frightened I'd spit in your face, but you'd probab'ly like it' You can keep your astronomers, I'll sail with the conquerors For thousands of kilometers, discovering the continents I'm alpha dog dominant, you can't beat me Your glory days are over, the Ora'''cle should've '''told ya I'll kick your wrinkly dick back in your toga like "Opa!" Jack the Ripper Oi mate, pass the liquor, it's Jack the Ripper Jack the rapper, following you way before the dawn of Twitter I'm a human trigger warning, through the night un'til the morning' When the light shines upon my crimes, you find it sick appalling An infamous no'torious (de)linquent' There's little more gory a thing than living in Vict'torian England' This is horrorcore, be''ware if you're a '''common whore' Or at late night you may find me knocking on your door Not keen to leave until I'm knee-deep in blood and gore You're griev''ing fami''ly on their knees, weep''ing '''scrubbing floors' The po''lice need'' a lead, they don't know what they're looking for My raps are like the way I eat my meat, bloody raw I'm real, you'll find me making vacancies in brothels While you only exist inside the pages of (a) novel You were kept for ages in (a) hovel Contained within a cage behind a locked door while I never got caught So who's the superior serial killer, Doctor Lecter? I'm still wanted, you're forgotten, people these days are watching Dexter So God protect ya from the hell I've spread upon us I'm terrorizing London, fuck the seven seven bombers Hannibal Lecter Jack, you're a class''ic megalomani''ac You have''n't mentioned me once in your entire ''batt''le ''rap Pity your verse, wasn't worth the trip in the jack''et Quit ''jack''ing off on the ''track and put the lotion in the bask''et I'm the bon vivant of ''violence, a licensed psychiatrist Who dines on highest so''ciet''y to the sound of violins Ellen DeGeneres Hey God, it's me Ellen, can I ask you a question? How do I tell my friend Oprah she's gonn''a get'' more whipped than Steadman I'll make her head spin, when it comes to rhymes I've got a penchant So battling me is your in''tention?'' I better mention You're 'bout to get licked by a les(bi)an I got the skill (to) make Doctor Phil say I thought I told ya your daytime reign is over I'm hopping over Oprah like I'm Tom Cruise on a sofa Oprah I'm the queen of TV and I'm here to de''stroy ya'' So check under your seat because I've got something for ya You can't even hope to be as half as dope as Oprah I'll attract my hands around your throat and Deepak choke ya Steven Spielberg Picture a child sitting next to a projector Learning from your films to become a much better director I'm Always so on top of my game, I get the Vertigo My jet's in the Terminal, waiting for me to Murder! ya I rock the academy and the DG''A'' You rock as many Oscars as that schelp, Michael Bay Next time you're filling up those jowls with three steaks and souff''le'' Check the trades, see me Amblin to my next big play Alfred Hitchcock I'm the master of suspense, so intense No defense against Hitchcock when he presents My skill is enormous, orchestrate brilliant performance You're more horrible than Megan Fox's acting in Transformers I'm the best mamma jamma ever stood be'hind the camera' Damage pander'ers and haunt you like the last Indi'ana Quentin Tarantino Cut! Get me a Tylenol, stop rhyming y'all Alfred you got no style dawg, I'm the king of dialogue There's only one movie I know you from And I've seen more blood in the shower when I stubbed my toe in one You tried to fight in World War One, but couldn't do that'' The British Army wouldn't let you join cause you were 'too fat Look it up, it's a '''true fact, Wikipedi''a that'' Now allow me to attack Steven the hack Due to War of the Worlds, a failure's what I label you It looked like some sellout bullshit Michael Bay would do Ask anybody "What's your favorite Sam Jackson part?" No one's gonna say "What's his name from Jur'assic Park'" Stanley Kubrick Genius is a powerful word, but there's no reason to use it Unless you're talking about the Kubrick, then there's really nothing to it Michael Bay That's enough! I've heard enough crap from all of you Why don't I come down there and show you what a real star can do I set up shop and got a few drops of that ''got milk money '' Rose to the Rock now I got that socks made of silk money Lewis & Clark We're two traveling wordsmiths spitting hotter than a furnace And we'll own you on the mic like the Louisiana Purchase You're worthless, your future selves should've told you that Now go back in time and give Dr. Who his phone booth back We conquered much greater dangers in our trek through Mother Nature So step off, but tell Bill's step-mom don't be a stranger Bill & Ted A teen mom carried you and your troops? They should've let the baby lead and put you in the (pa)poose You rode a river one direction, we travel four dimensions Rescue bodacious babes and get back for detention Harry Houdini You've never seen a body quite the same as that of Hou''dini'' Slippery like lin''guine'', sneaking out of teenie weenie Little spaces small enough to fit your talent, David, you're not a challenge, David Your biggest en'dowment's (your) bank a'ccount balance(s) baby I'm swallowing needles and spitting out evil, you couldn't escape from a flash paper bag I'm badder with patter and matter of fact you can't match all my skill if you sawed me in half Oh, your hack of a' Bob Sage-ty - act is em-''' - '''(em)barrassing You're the saddest thing to happen to - magic since the Gathering I'm hanging by my ankles, from a crane I - dangle I got lox on my bagel that you couldn't - handle Smash your mirrors, leave your flying wires tangled And you can't hide shame with a camera - angle Did somebody say Angel? David Copperfield When I was a child, you were a God to me, I had to do what you do Now you're like a Chinese wall to me, bitch, I'll walk right through you This ain't the magic that you're used to A float a rose hands-free like it's Bluetooth My grand illusions make your parlor tricks irrelevant The foot of Lady Liberty is stomping on your elephant Robocop Freeze! I suggest you use your right to remain silent Be'fore I show your Gobot ass some '''De'troit violence I'm like an X-'''Wing commander cause I stay on target I take over these streets like I'm a farmers market I wonder where the Cyberdyne re'search went That they couldn't fix your funk'y Hanz and Franz accent They sent you back to kill a child, but he's defeating you still They should've made a time-travel'ing', morn'ing' after-pill And I didn't think I had any feel'ings' left inside me But my heart was surely broken after Terminator Three I'm Robocop and I got the flow to beat roided out C3P'''O I got the mic control like alt '''delete, your move creep You don't know love, you don't know honor You o''nly ''know a pro''grammed ''ro''bot ''bo''ner for John Connor ''O''CP gave me the '''skills to' - wreck this I can't help it if I'm fresh, it's my prime di'rective' Terminator Wrong! I have de'tailed files on the conclusion of your ''trilogy (trilog'''y) That mov'ie' failed De'troit worse than ''the automotive industry (indust'ry') I am T'''-800 Cyberdyne Systems Model 101 And I'll '''be sweeping up your robo-bits like paperclips when I'm done My rapp'ing' attack is a massive dispatch of bazooks and gats and grenades That rapid'ly' bashes your brains and dismantles that puny pea shooter that fits in your leg We're not the same, you peel away my perfect skin you find super computers You look like Krang wear'ing' a cold press juicer They left off your balls when your suit was cre'ated "I still love you, Alex." Bullshit! Your sex life is ter'min'ated! And based on my de'tailed analysis of the '''ly'rical structure of battle raps It's time for your next shit verse and then I'll '''be back My rapping - attack is - '' a massive'' - dispatch of - bazooks and gats and grenades That rap(id)ly - ''-ly bashes'' your brains and dismantles that puny pea shooter that fits in your leg My rapping attack is a massive dispatch of bazookas and gats and grenades That rapidly bashes your brains and dismantles that puny pea shooter that fits in your leg We're not the same, you peel away my perfect skin you find super computers You look like Krang wearing a cold press juicer And based on my detailed analysis of the lyrical structure of battle raps It's time for your next shit verse and then I'll be back I'll punch through your face-hole and rip out your vo'cal chords' Then mail your space helmet back to Geordi La Feorge Chill out dickwad, your emotions are wrecking your flow I couldn't find a decent rhyme in your line if I'' '''was in search mode' You're too slow, I blow more steam through machines than a barista It's Judgement Day, baby, hasta la vista Western Philosophers The mad gadfly, philosophy was my invention Rolling with the flyest Nihilist and me, their French henchman It's evident you've never been our type of mental brethren We're better thinkers, better speakers, better lovers, better men! Socrates I'm coming off the Acropolis to start some pandemonium Don't bring limp raps to a pimp slap symposium (limp raps = pimp slap) The seminal general so tough on the mic, all your men must be like "yo, WHAT HAPPENED?" You're pitiful lyrically, lucky for history you didn't author the Art OF RAPPING Plebe, bitch? I'm toxic like a hemlock sip Hang a sandal on the door cause you can suck Soc's dick! I'll not be taught camaraderie from a frog who rigged the lottery (taught, ''camarad''erie, ''frog, lott''ery) '' You make '''a mockery' of ethics so keep your fat nose in your coffee (mock''ery, ''coff''ee) Nietzsche Oh, I'll give you something you can bow and kow'tow to''' (bow, kowtow) When I squat down and squeeze out a Tao (of) Pooh - on Lao Tzu (down, out, Tao, Lao) Cause I'm N-I-E-T-Z-'S-C-H-E!' And I'll end any motherfucker like my name in a spelling bee Voltaire And I'm a free-thinker, so confronting conformists like you, it's my job Got a sharp wit - like a spit that'll skewer you like a Con'fu-shish kebab' You flubbed the mission, I'm beating your submissive ass into submission Dishing out more disses than letters and pamphlets and plays I've been publishing! You flubbed the mission, I'm beating your sub'missive' ass into sub'mission' Dishing out more disses than letters and pamphlets and plays I've been pub'lishing!' Sacrebleu, Socrates, you're making things a little tense Come, let's blind these - Chinese - heinies - with some shiny - bright e-''' - en'lighten'ment! Let me '''be frank, don't start beef with the Frank (me, be, beef, the; frank, Frank) Who hangs with B. Franks, giving ladies beef franks! (B., giv''ing'', lad''ies'', beef; hangs, Franks, lad'''ies, '''franks) Eastern Philosophers While we use precise strikes to disrupt your concentr'ation' Hand you ass whipping our descendants will honor for gener'ations' We filled a nation with patience and the presence for living And you'll never hold a candle to the wisdom we've written Confucius This type of arrogance is sure to be expected From men who speak of wisdom with no clue of what respect is Let me be Candide with you, Voltaire French drip with the egg noodle hair Your ego's just so distracting (e''go, distract''ing) Free speech doesn't mean just keep yapping (free, speech, mean, keep yapping) And you killed God, so I gott'a ask' Did he die of shame when he made your mustache? You tried to plan a new Ger(man) psyche But you just grew hate, me no Third Reichy Yo, where in the tradition of rap battles is it written That two dudes on the same team should squabble like some clucking chickens? Lao Tzu *N/A Sun Tzu And it all starts with you, you're the father Socrates Honestly I think you owe both of your students here an a'pology' Uh, Laozi, I don't mean no disrespect But you need to fill your bowl with some shit that makes some sense Shaka Zulu Iwasa, meet Caesar, he's a commander Who thinks he can dance with - Conan of the - savannah Cause when I go hand to hand with you, I go hammer Knock off his dome, wrap it up in his own banner Send it back to Rome with a message from the Zulu If you battle Shaka, this will happen to you If you cross that equator you'll head straight into a massa'cre And get fucked by more than just Cle'opatra - in Afri'ca ''Iwasa - meet Caesar - he's a - commander Who thinks he can dance with Conan of the Savannah Cause when I go hand to hand with you, I go hammer Knock off his dome, wrap it up in his own banner Send it back to Rome with a message from the 'Zulu If you battle Shaka, this will happen '''to you If you cross that equator, you'll head straight into a massacre And get fucked by more than just Cleopatra in Africa So whatcha gonna do with your Roman swords? When the lines of your legions get gored by the horns Of the Zulu warr'''iors! Trained on '''thorns To dismantle any emperor's pasty white hordes Julius Caesar Cause all I hear is threats from a brute with no discipline And I'm ruling over you like a boot of my citizens So you can take your cow skin shield and hide under it You're fucking with the most triumphant third of the Triumvirate I'm first of the empire and last of the Republicans (of the, Re''pub''licans) And hunting you accompanied by legions of my countrymen (hunt''ing, ''accom''panied, ''of, coun''trymen) Ask my kidnappers if I'm '''just a shit talker' Doc J dunk on ya like boom shaka laka' Ooh, can I be a - hyena cause I'm go'''ing to laugh I'll pave '''roads with the bones of your goat-herding ass First my front lines will drop back and spank (you in) the chest Then I'll decimate your horns, you can't outflank the best Stan Lee Greetings heroes, Stan Lee's here to battle It's the mind behind the Hulk against the geek beneath the Fraggles (the mind - behind; the geek - beneath) You're in trouble now Jimmy, you dirty old hippie (Jim''my, ''hip''pie) Your beard needs a little bit of snikt, damn '''Skippy' (lit''tle, ''bit, snikt, Skip''py) Heck, that face on your '''neck ain't' - sexy (heck, neck, sex''y) You're one part Sweetums, the other part '''Skeksis' (Skek''sis) Step '''up to' Lee and you get your butt kicked Your muppet - Snuffleupagus - stuff is - bupkis I broke Ferrigno and the Comics Code So keep your frog (and) pig show moving right along down the road I'm sorry Jim, sometimes I can't control my rage Honestly there's a lot of things that you can't control (at) my age Jim Henson I can sense your - your tension - once the ver'bal fencing' starts commencing There is no defense a-''' - '''against the - the dents Jim - Jim Henson is dispensing And I'm clenching all your strings like you're a puppet in suspension Call your superhero friends in, yeah, cause you're gon'''na need '''avenging Let me mention, I'm impressed by all the vision it took For you to sign your name on all of Jack Kirby's books But the Four will always be Fantastic, the Hulk will always be incredible The words you wove within the hearts of heroes are indelible Walt Disney M-I-C, I rock the mic properly K-E-Y, turning profits, I've got the key You belong to Disney, which means you stay busy Cranking out magic and ass'embly' line whimsy Artists begging me to stop, I won't let 'em! Labor conditions in my shop, I don't sweat 'em! I'm powerful enough to make a mouse gigantic With only three circles, I dominate the planet Clearly, there's nobody near me I'm owning this battle, in fact I own this whole series! Category:Blog posts